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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26791351">if i had a single flower for every time i think about you, i could walk forever in my garden</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allinthestyle/pseuds/allinthestyle'>allinthestyle</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Jem and the Holograms (Cartoon), Jem and the Holograms - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cute, F/F, Flowers, Fluff, Language of Flowers, Slow Burn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:28:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,780</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26791351</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allinthestyle/pseuds/allinthestyle</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Five brief glimpses into the life of Clash as told with Raya’s language of flowers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carmen "Raya" Alsonso/Constance "Clash" Montgomery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>if i had a single flower for every time i think about you, i could walk forever in my garden</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i dont even want to think how long this has been sitting unfinished in my drafts LOL anyway stan rayaclash</p><p>Original Anon Prompt: “Clash and Raya happy ending. Post-Video Wars, Carmen Alonso seeks out the woman who saved her life, to repay that debt by offering her friendship. Clash not only accepts, but it quickly blossoms into something much more….”</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>{ūnus - azalea}</b>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>take care of yourself for me; fragile passion</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Clash remained completely still as she watched the space on the street where The Misfits van was only a few moments prior. They left her behind. <em>Again</em>. It was different this time though. It <em>felt</em> different. She had screwed up for The Misfits before, but never this bad. It was never her fault she made them a joke, but now <em>it was</em>. She knew Pizzazz, and her pride, well enough to know her chances of even <em>being a groupie</em> to the band were gone now.</p><p>Everything hurt, her heart, her head, <em>everything</em>. She didn’t notice the hot tears that spilled over her face as she stood there, unable to process what to do next. The light rain that fell only added to the melancholy scene. If she was in a better state of mind, Clash would have laughed at how pathetic the entire situation played out.</p><p>She didn’t know how long she had been standing there, when the rain suddenly stopped soaking her and she turned to see why: <em>a Hologram</em>-- Raya next to her, light pink floral-printed umbrella in hand shielding Clash from the downpour.</p><p>“Clash? Are you alright?” Raya asked hesitantly.</p><p>In response, Clash let out a croak of distress and furiously wiped her face of tears, though she couldn’t hide her red eyes or flushed cheeks. It all came back to her, and she hated it. How welcoming and kind and nice The Holograms were to her, to someone they thought was a stranger, unlike The Misfits. They weren’t putting on an act, they did really care about her...</p><p>But now that they knew who “Sarah” really was, they’d take all of that <em>caring</em> back.</p><p><em>...but</em> if they were, why was Raya standing here next to her, protecting her from the rain, softly smiling and concerned about her well-being?</p><p>Clash choked back a sob and tore down the sidewalk away from Raya and all of those questions. Raya didn’t try to follow, only watched Clash disappear into the darkness with a sad look.</p><p>
  <b>{duo - chrysanthemums}</b>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>you're a wonderful friend; truth</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months, and no one, not even The Misfits, saw hair nor faux fur of Clash since that night. The only way The Holograms knew she was even still alive was Video, who informed them her cousin went back to their shared hometown of Mulberry, but didn’t know beyond that. Clash wouldn’t return any of her cousin’s calls of concern, only her uncle Buzz told her she was fine.</p><p>So that was that.</p><p>Until on a random Thursday afternoon, Clash stood on the sidewalk in front of the Alonso House. She dressed down from her usual attire, maybe to not draw attention to herself for once. She made no move to get closer, or make herself look less like a creep.</p><p>Her nerves didn’t allow her to move, either away or closer, until she heard the sound of a trio of jingling bicycles barreling towards her; but it was too late for her to try and dodge. The first two young bike-riders managed to swerve and avoid her, but the third clipped her and sent the pair of them sprawling onto the hard concrete.</p><p>“Aurelio! Enrique! Roberto!” boomed a male voice from the side of the house as an older man appeared.</p><p>“Papa it was an acc-- “I’m sorry Pa--” “She came out of no--”</p><p>The older man hushed them as he assessed the three boys, and looked satisfied with no external injuries.</p><p>“As long as the three of you are alright. Accidents happen,” he assured his sons then turned his attention to Clash.</p><p>“Miss...? Are you alright?”</p><p>Clash sat up and rubbed her hands where the rough surface cut into them.</p><p>“Y-yeah. I’m... I’m gonna go--”</p><p>The older man placed a gentle hand on Clash’s shoulder and warmly smiled at her.</p><p>“Please miss, at least let me clean your scrapes. I’d like to help.“</p><p>Even though she could tell the wounds were not threatening in the slightest, only mildly stung, it’d be weird if she bolted now, wouldn’t it? They already saw her and knew what she looked like...</p><p>“O-okay...”</p><p>“My name is Miguel,” he introduced himself and helped Clash up to her feet.</p><p>“I’m Cl... Constance. I’m Constance.”</p><p>“It’s very nice to meet you, Constance. Let’s get you inside and cleaned up.”</p><p>Once inside, Miguel lead Clash to the couch and headed off down the hall of the family home. Each of the boys followed them in, and apologized to Clash for running into her. Clash mutely nodded to the trio as she kept herself small and waited.</p><p>Without a better thing to do, she began to glance around the living room. It was homey, but in a good way. It reminded her of her own childhood home. The most eye-catching thing she saw was the large family photo on the coffee table in front of her. Carefully, she picked it up to get a better look. It was from a few years ago, by the looks of how young Raya and her brothers were. The older woman, must be the mother and of course Miguel. They were happy, and that brought a small smile to Clash’s face.</p><p>She heard footsteps heading towards her and she quickly sat the frame down to act like nothing happened.</p><p>“Papa! I heard a crash! is something...” Raya trailed off as she saw the last person she ever thought she would sitting in her living room. Surprise colored her features, before confusion, and settled on a scowl as Raya set down the potted multi-colored chrysanthemums on the nearby table and walked over to Clash.</p><p>“If you’re here because of The Misfits to mess up my papa’s nursery again I’ll--”</p><p>“Ah! <em>Mija</em>, you’ve met our guest!”</p><p>Both girls turned to look at Miguel, who smiled with a first-aid kit in hand. He didn’t seem to hear what Raya just said a few moments ago.</p><p>“The crash earlier was just the boys being careless. No one was seriously hurt but I didn’t want to take any chances with Constance, even if they’re just some scrapes.”</p><p>Clash mentally squirmed under both the distrustful gaze of Raya and the warm one of Miguel.</p><p>“What he said. I’ll go after he’s done,” she said quietly, not meeting either of their eyes.</p><p>Sensing Clash was unsure of what to say next, Raya cleared her throat.</p><p>“Actually, Papa, we’ve met before. We’re... <em>friends</em>.”</p><p>It was Clash’s turn to look surprised as Miguel’s smile became brighter, then he laughed.</p><p>“Really! It’s a small world then! Any friend of Raya’s is a friend of ours! Would you like to stay for dinner, Constance? You’re more than welcome to! Rosa always makes plenty to go around.”</p><p>“I have plans with my uh, cousin tonight... maybe next time...“ Clash mumbled. </p><p>Those questions and feelings swirled in her head again. Why was Raya being <em>so nice</em>? She could of sold her out easily, especially if she thought she was there to cause trouble.</p><p>She wanted to voice the biggest question on her mind, but the word died in her throat as Miguel doctored her hands. It... she couldn’t ask in front of someone else that wasn’t Raya.</p><p>As soon as she was free, Clash swallowed hard, and hurried out the door with a quick goodbye to the Alonsos. She now had more questions than she had before.</p><p>
  <b>{trēs - gladiolus}</b>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>give me a break... i'm really sincere</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>It wasn’t but a month later when Clash made her second appearance in the wild. This time it was at an outdoor concert of The Holograms, thankfully no Misfits in sight to ruin it.  From the audience, Clash watched the concert (or at least <em>a certain someone</em>) from as safe a distance she could manage.</p><p>The song she knew, but not the name, as she hummed along until it finished and iris-like flowers fluttered down from above the stage. Jem said something, likely thanking the audience, but her words were lost as the crowd applauded and even Clash clapped some.</p><p>She made sure her disguise was still in places with a quick touch to her brown-haired wig. Good. She rose from her spot and made her way towards the backstage area. She flashed her (fake) ID to the security and they let her in without question. It was a little lax, she should tell Raya to up security next time.</p><p>Each step was more difficult than the last as she made her way to the Hologram trailer, but she wanted-- no, <em>needed</em> to do it. She steeled herself for what she had to do next.</p><p>At the metal door of the trailer, she knocked once, twice, then took a step back. Her heart jumped when it opened, only to sink when it was decidedly not the Hologram she wanted to greet first.</p><p>“Yo. We’re not doing interviews yet, “ Aja droned in a forced happy tone. “Come back later-- <em><b>Clash</b></em>!?”</p><p>
  <em>Oh no.</em>
</p><p>Clash took several more steps back in a panic as Aja jumped down the trailer steps, followed by the other Holograms. She squeezed her eyes shut, and expected some sort of verbal abuse be thrown her way or <em>worse</em>. Instead, she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her and pull her into a tight hug as her eyes flew open.</p><p>“How ya’ been, dummy? Should of called first. We got worried,” Aja said and released a very confused Clash.</p><p>“You’re not... going to yell at me?”</p><p>Shana tilted her head in confusion as she also got a hug in, followed by Kimber nearly barreling Clash over.</p><p>“Why would we yell at you, sweetie? We just wanted to know you’re okay.”</p><p>“Yeah what Shana said! Raya told us you showed up at her house a few weeks ago. Not fair she got to see you!”</p><p>Clash looked at Raya who gave her a small smile. In turn, Clash flushed as she looked back at the others.</p><p>“Sorry...”</p><p>“Don’t be sorry. You’re here now,” Jem interjected after her own hug for Clash.</p><p>“And... are going to stay...?”</p><p>The question hung as all of The Holograms looked at Clash expectantly. She saw no anger in their faces. Just...warmth, maybe worry if her answer was somehow going to be <em>no</em>.</p><p>
  <em>Maybe it was time to stop running.</em>
</p><p>Clash broke into a large grin.</p><p>“Yeah. I am.”</p><p>There were cheers and squeals of delight as soon as the words left her mouth. Raya was first to reach her to pull her into another hug, and while it was a little selfish to think, Clash thought her hug felt the best. </p><p>
  <b>{quattuor - white heather}</b>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>protection</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>A few weeks after her return, Clash was happily the guest of honor on first leg of The Holograms’ current charity tour. Truly she didn’t <em>really</em> care about what the tour was about, only that she could be close to her new friends-- and more importantly Raya. </p><p>She sat quietly in the green room as The Holograms chatted among themselves about the sets they had planned to perform and just general chit-chat. It did take some getting used to going from group-slash-gopher to well... a VIP, really. Clash had been surprised at first no one was asking her to run around, get coffee, get instruments, dodge Pizzazz throwing things, sabotage the other bands, etc.</p><p>It did make her a bit antsy, if she was being honest with herself. She’s not usually one to sit around and do nothing. Despite the gentle protests of The Holograms, she still tried to do simple tasks when she could, whether it help them for a concert or at Starlight House. Something she wanted to do so she could feel useful, she explained.</p><p>But at least for the moment, she was content with just being there. Chatting with Raya about the pretty white flower (<em>heathers? interesting name...</em>) in her hair that came from her father’s nursery.</p><p>Until...</p><p>“Awwww look’it, the Holo-nerds take in strays. Should’a known with that orphanage of brats huh!”</p><p>The mocking, haughty tone made Clash flinch back and try to sink into the plush couch she sat on. Pizzazz, followed closely by the other Misfits. Only Stormer seemed relieved to see her, the other three ranged from amused to annoyed.</p><p>Kimber was the first on her feet and took a step forward before being stopped by Shana. With an annoyed huff, Jem also got to her feet to glare at their rival band.</p><p>“Don’t you have anything better to do Pizzazz-”</p><p>“Yeah like practice so you sound actually like you can sing!” Kimber piped up, still behind held back by her sister.</p><p>Pizzazz let out a snarl at the insult, but turned her focus back to Clash with a growing smirk.</p><p>“So you need these dorks to make yourself feel useful again, huh? Is that it Clash?”</p><p>Clash said nothing still while trying to let herself melt into the couch, away from the taunts and jeers. She had the childish urge to cover up her face and just will The Misfits away. However, before she could wallow in her thoughts, she watched as Raya silently got to her feet and positioned herself very close to the other band.</p><p>“If any of you know whats good for you, you’d leave.”</p><p>Clash had never heard that eerie tone of voice from the drummer before, and with a quick glance around, and by the looks on the other Holograms’ faces, neither had they.</p><p>Even Pizzazz seemed unnerve by this sudden change in the usually quiet drummer, but quickly regained her bearings as she opened her mouth to say something or maybe come to blows, only to be stopped with a hand on her arm by Jetta.</p><p>“Not to be a bit of a wet blanket, duckie, but I know what that little scamp is capable of. We should go.“</p><p>With Raya’s threat, and her own bandmate telling her to go, Pizzazz relented. She sent one final glare to The Holograms, stuck her tongue out, and turned on her heels to exit the room with her band without another word. Only Stormer looked back to give a tentative wave to Clash before she left.</p><p>The Holograms quickly went to Clash’s side, asking if she was okay and if she needed anything. It almost brought the girl to tears but she resisted bawling in front of them. She just give them a meek, but genuine smile.</p><p>“Thanks you guys. No one’s really stood up for me before. Well... Video used to... but she stopped.”</p><p>No one really needed to ask why that was, but the awkwardness still lingered in the air. Kimber was quick to break the silence before it lingered too long.</p><p>“Raya did you really mean what you said? I think I’d pay money to see you wipe that smug look off of Pizzazz’s face again!”</p><p>Almost embarrassed from her actions moments ago, she blushed and looked down.</p><p>“I don’t like to make threats or be mean...but I don’t like the people I care about being pushed around. I know we can’t stop The Misfits every time but I hope this will make them think twice.”</p><p><em>‘People I care about...’</em> Clash’s heart raced at that thought.</p><p>“You...care about me?” Clash mumbled, praying the thumping in her chest wasn’t audible to the others that sat close to her.</p><p>“Of course Clash-”</p><p>“Yeah you’re one of us!”</p><p>“We’ll never let anything hurt you.”</p><p>“We look out for our own.”</p><p>Clash couldn’t help the smile breaking on her face. There were still questions to ask but for the moment, she was content with the answer.</p><p>
  <b>{quīnque - roses}</b>
  <em><br/>
</em>
</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>happy love; respect; joy, friendship; i love you<br/>
</em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p>More time passed, and Clash fell further and further in step with living with The Holograms. In the intervening months she began to pick up sound engineering from Rio, she may not be able to carry or play a tune, but she had a knack for sound design as quoted by Rio. She even fell into a somewhat uneasy professional relationship with her cousin Video with these newfound skills. They took more time than she’d like to admit that Video would even speak with her, but she did seem rather content that she was happier with The Holograms.</p><p>That, or Video was just relieved she wasn’t going to be bothered by her younger cousin anymore with her reels getting ripped apart or her editing running amuck. Clash wouldn’t question it.</p><p>It was after one of these workshop sessions for a new Holograms song (<em>something Love in the Air? She’d have to ask Kimber later</em>), she found herself bidding Video a quick goodbye without so much as an explanation before she was out the door. Video probably knew it, but this was the day The Holograms returned from a several month tour in Europe. </p><p>Clash had been working up the nerve to...ask Raya a question, many questions, but a very big important one that had been lingering in her mind since that one lonely raining evening.</p><p>She had maybe gone a bit overboard, growing and caring for your own red rose bush just to ask one of your dearest friends a question was something not everyone would do.</p><p>The red roses certainly weren’t perfect, most hadn’t grown in or grown in wrong remaining as buds, but a few blooms looked good enough as a gift and Clash really hoped the thought would count over her amateur gardening skills. She poured over countless botany books about the language of flowers and growing tips and even asked at her local flower shops for any tips they could give her.</p><p>Okay, maybe it was a lot overboard, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t everyone. She was Clash, and she wanted it to mean something to Raya.</p><p>Sometime later, The irony was not lost on her, as she also once again found herself on the doorsteps to the Alonso home. With a deep breath and her free hand, she knocked on the door and waited. She could hear shuffling and she swore her heart leapt into her chest as the door open, only for it to sink when she saw it was one of Raya’s brothers.</p><p>“Uhm...is Raya...back yet?” Clash asked. She tried to keep the flowers hidden behind her back as much as she could.</p><p>The boy (Roberto, she recalled vaguely) turned and shouted something in Spanish in the house. After a few moments a rather groggy Raya appeared from one of the adjacent, she replied something low in Spanish before seeing who was at the door and brightened up considerably. Roberto gave Clash one final curious look, before disappearing in the house.</p><p>Raya made her way to Clash with a happy though tired smile. Clash instantly straightened up and returned the smile with a nervous one of her own.</p><p>“You look uhm...” Clash fumbled over her words. “...good!”</p><p>“Clash don’t be so nice. The girls and I were stuck in a layover Santa Fe for more hours than I want to think about. I only just got back home an hour ago.” she sounded amused, which did little to make the other girl less nervous.</p><p>“O-oh...I’m sorry. I can go if you just want to sleep-”</p><p>“Don’t worry, if you were anyone else I would of ripped their head off for waking me up but I’ll make an exception for you.”</p><p>Clash believed she was serious. Raya could be a force of nature when she wanted to be.</p><p>“So, did you want to say hello or did you need something else?”</p><p>“Right! I uhm...wanted to ask you something...” Clash trailed off and looked at the ground. She could feel Raya’s gentle, but confused eyes on her.</p><p>“Ask me something?”</p><p>It was now or never. She decided. Not even when she was making a mess with The Misfits with the law on their tail did she feel this anxious.</p><p>“I... I...”</p><p>Something in her snapped as she quickly presented and shoved the roses into Raya’s chest with a blush blooming over her face as she quickly spit out whatever words came to mind.</p><p>“I wanted to ask if you want to go out with me-- and do you care about me-- and ask why you were so nice to me-- and what you see in me-- and-- and-- why you put up with me--” Each question was cut off by the next, until Raya put a gentle figure up to her lips.</p><p>“I care about you, a lot, Clash...” Raya cooed as she looked down at the flowers with a fond expression. “I would love to go out with you.”</p><p>With eyes as wide as an owl, Clash stared at Raya as she giggled, continuing as if she didn’t rock Clash’s entire world with her answer.</p><p>“Did you grow these yourself?”</p><p>“I did-- could you tell? They’re a little cliche but I read that roses were pretty easy to grow. I guess I have a black thumb because--” Raya hushed her with another finger and a smile.</p><p>“I love them. I’ve never had anyone give me flowers before.”</p><p>“Really? Uhm... in the language of the flowers they mean friendship...joy... and... something else.”</p><p>Sensing something was off as tense as the other girl becam, Raya carefully titled Clash’s head up to meet her own with warm eyes that eased her anxiousness.</p><p>“It’s alright, don’t push yourself, okay? We have plenty of time to discuss that when you feel comfortable. We can start on our date... <em>tomorrow night</em>. I care a lot about you, but I think I care about my bed more right now.”</p><p>“Yeah-- yeah of course! I’ll uh, be doing date prepared things.”</p><p>“I look forward to it.” </p><p>With her hand still on her chin, Raya placed it on Clash’s shoulder and leaned forward for a kiss on her cheek. The small gesture sent a shock wave running throughout her body. She was almost afraid she’d collapse there on the spot and fly away all at the same time.</p><p>Raya pulled back way too quickly for Clash to like as she bid her a final goodbye and shut the door.</p><p>Clash brought a hand up to the spot Raya kissed with a massive grin breaking as she danced in the spot outside the door. With a heart as light as her feet she practically floated away from the door and headed back home. </p><p>She still had dozens of questions to ask Raya, but it seemed she’d have all the time in the world to get the answers.</p><p>And Clash was happy with that.</p>
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